It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
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