Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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