Pregnant stripper...not hot.
3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
Randomize
