Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
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