My brain says no but my pants say off.
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
Randomize
