Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
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