yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
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