69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
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She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
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Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
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