2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
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