I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
tell me about the eggs
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
