dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
Randomize