I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Someone shattered a urinal.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Randomize