But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
Randomize
