11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
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I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
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Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
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