Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
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