He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
Randomize
