What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
These 19 Guys Hit The Cougar Jackpot
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
35 Disappointing People Who Failed At Sexting
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail