Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
23 Theme Park Employees Confess The Biggest Adult Tantrums They’ve Witnessed
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
It's not a walk of shame if you run
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.