Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
Randomize
