woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
The Internet Is Obsessed With This Stripper Who Dropped It Low Just To Eat A Slice Of Pizza
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?