apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out