paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
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