ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
Well, I'm off to go seduce a gay man. In 10 years when I'm 300 pounds, sitting in a mumu surrounded by my 500 cats, remind me of this text. That way I can be like "ohhh THERE'S where I went wrong!!"
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
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