Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Randomize
