Kareoke will never be a sober sport
TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?