Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
Randomize
