Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor