yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
23 Adults Confess The Irrational Fears They Had When They Were Kids
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
These 25 Women First Experienced Sexual Harassment At A Shocking Age
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.