"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
23 Strangest Things That Gave Dudes A Boner
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
These 21 People Shouldn’t Be Giving Dating Advice
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed