If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
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