I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
What drink are we having for lunch?
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
Randomize
