she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
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