i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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