first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
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