you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
Randomize
