I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
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