You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
Randomize
