Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
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