I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
New York to be Host to Americaâ€™s Biggest Singles Event
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
Kylie Jenner Wasnâ€™t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.