yea but for you.
It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
These People Made Expensive Mistakes That They’ll Regret Forever
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
Things The Opposite Sex Just Doesn’t Understand
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?