I never want to see another naked old woman again.
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
birth control should be required to get into college
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
The 21 Worst Ways People Have Been Dumped
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
19 People Confess The Worst Things They Have Been Accused Of
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday