my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements