Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
These 23 People Had The Most Insane Spring Breaks Ever
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
25 Women On How They Let Their Oblivious Partners Know They Want To Bone
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.