We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
Never joke about your clitoris.
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