woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
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