This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
I just realized I use Twitter to keep of track of when I get drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
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