Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
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