i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
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Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
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