Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Randomize