Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
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