Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
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Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
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Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
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