What a fucking waste of an outfit
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
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i really wish james franco would like my vagina
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
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I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
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