this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
25 Facts Men Don’t Know About Women Until They Live Together
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
These 19 People Imagine Others When Banging Their SO
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night