I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
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By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
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I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability