My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
Tornado booty call.. dedication
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle