I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
thus making me awesome and them whores
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
