How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
love makes seman taste better
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
Mom said you looked used
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
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