Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
Randomize
