sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
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