I wanna passion pit in your ass
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
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