On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
Randomize
